green-soap;

<BGSOUND SRC="http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/litloves/Robbie_Williams-Something_Stupid.mp3"> green-soap; <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=15131936&blogName=green+soap&publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&navbarType=BLUE&layoutType=CLASSIC&searchRoot=http://jack-rabbit.blogspot.com/search&blogLocale=en_US&v=1&homepageUrl=http://jack-rabbit.blogspot.com/&vt=-8646095696471254988" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me
Then afterwards we drop into a
quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes
You still despise the same old lines
You heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you
For me it's true
And never seemed so right before

I practice every day to find
some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come true
But then I think I'll wait
until the evening gets late
And I'm alone with you

The time is rightv Your perfume fills my head
The stars get red
And oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I love you...

the hyper queen ;

kexin.
blah.
SCGS. <3
oneCOohfour;
twoSYohfive; we SYnchronize .
Y lit. poems. prose. sylvia.lipstick

N bushy hair. blotters.

it's NOW sec TWO
draMA
writ ting
wonder foo
grip
stick your tongueOUT
poems

conversation among the ruins;
life;
the road less taken;
summer sunset;
clouds;
blues collection'
aphrodisiac

writers

ted hughes; sylvia plath, virginia woolf

Above the Oxbow Here in this valley of discrete academies
We have not mountains, but mounts, truncated hillocks
To the Adirondacks, to northern Monadnock,
Themselves mere rocky hillocks to an Everest.
Still, they're out best mustering of height: by
Comparison with the sunnken silver-grizzled
Back of the Connecticut, the river-level
Flats of Hadley farms, they're lofty enough
Elevations to be called something more than hills.
Green, wholly green, they stand their knobby spine
Against our sky: they are what we look southward to
Up Pleasant Street at Main. Poising their shapes
Between the snuff and red tar-paper apartments,
They mound a summer coolness in our view.

To people who live in the bottom of valleys
A rise in the landscape, hummock or hogback, looks
To be meant for climbing. A peculiar logic
In going up for the coming down if the post
We start at's the same post we finish by,
But it's the clear conversion at the top can hold
Us to the oblique road, in spite of a fitful
Wish for even ground, and it's the last cliff
Ledge will dislodge out cramped concept of space, unwall
Horizons beyond vision, spill vision
After the horizons, stretching the narrowed eye
To full capacity. We climb to hopes
Of such seeing up the leaf-shuttered escarpments,
Blindered by green, under a green-grained sky

Into the blue. Tops define themselves as places
Where nothing higher's to be looked to. Downward looks
Follow the black arrow-backs of swifts on their track
Of the air eddies' loop and arc though air's at rest
To us, since we see no leaf edge stir high
Here on a mount overlaid with leaves. The paint-peeled
Hundred-year-old hotel sustains its ramshackle
Four-way veranda, view-keeping above
The fallen timbers of its once remarkable
Funicular railway, witness to gone
Time, and to graces gone with the time. A state view-
Keeper collects half-dollars for the slopes
Of state scenery, sells soda, shows off viewpoints.
A ruffy skylight oaints the gray oxbow

And paints the river's pale circumfluent stillness.
As roses broach their carmine in a mirror. Flux
Of the desultory currents --- all that unique
Stripple of shifting wave-tips is ironed out, lost
In the simplified orderings of sky-
Lorded perspectives. Maplike, the far fields are ruled
By correct green lines and no seedy free-for-all
Of asparagus heads. Cars run their suave
Colored beads on the strung roads, and the people stroll
Straightforwardly across the springing green.
All's peace and discipline down there. Till lately we
Lived under the shadow of hot rooftops
And never saw how coolly we might move. For once
A high hush quietens the crickets' cry.
sylvia plath--

Conversation Among the Ruins Through portico of my elegant house you stalk
With your wild furies, disturbing garlands of fruit
And the fabulous lutes and peacocks, rending the net
Of all decorum which holds the whirlwind back.
Now, rich order of walls is fallen; rooks croak
Above the appalling ruin; in bleak light
Of your stormy eye, magic takes flight
Like a daunted witch, quitting castle when real days break.

Fractured pillars frame prospects of rock;
While you stand heroic in coat and tie, I sit
Composed in Grecian tunic and psyche-knot,
Rooted to your black look, the play turned tragic:
Which such blight wrought on our bankrupt estate,
What ceremony of words can patch the havoc?
sylvia plath--

Cut What a thrill ---
My thumb instead of an onion.
The top quite gone
Except for a sort of a hinge

Of skin,
A flap like a hat,
Dead white.
Then that red plush.

Little pilgrim,
The Indian's axed your scalp.
Your turkey wattle
Carpet rolls

Straight from the heart.
I step on it,
Clutching my bottle
Of pink fizz.

A celebration, this is.
Out of a gap
A million soldiers run,
Redcoats, every one.

Whose side are they on?
O my
Homunculus, I am ill.
I have taken a pill to kill

The thin
Papery feeling.
Saboteur,
Kamikaze man ---

The stain on your
Gauze Ku Klux Klan
Babushka
Darkens and tarnishes and when

The balled
Pulp of your heart
Confronts its small
Mill of silence

How you jump ---
Trepanned veteran,
Dirty girl,
Thumb stump.

Monologue at 3 AM
Better that every fiber crack
and fury make head,
blood drenching vivid
couch, carpet, floor
and the snake-figured almanac
vouching you are
a million green counties from here,

than to sit mute, twitching so
under prickling stars,
with stare, with curse
blackening the time
goodbyes were said, trains let go,
and I, great magnanimous fool, thus wrenched from
my one kingdom.
sylvia plath--

Prologue to Spring The winter landscape hangs in balance now,
Transfixed by glare of blue from gorgon's eye;
The skaters freese within a stone tableau.

Grows brittle as a tilted china bowl;
Hill and valley stiffen row on row.

Each fallen leaf is trapped by spell of steel,
Crimped like fern in the quartz atmosphere;
Repose of scultpure holds the country still.

What coutermagic can undo the snare
Which has stopped the season in its tracks
And suspended all that might occur?

Locked in crystal caskets are the lakes,
Yet as we wonder what cam come of ice
Green-singing birds explore from all the rocks.

Sonnet to Satan In darkroom of your eye the moonly mind
someraults to couterfeit eclipse;
bright angels black out over logic's land
under shutter of their handicaps.

Commanding that corkscrew comet jet forth ink
to pitch the white world down in swiveling flood,
you overcast all order's noonday rank
and turn god's radiant photograph to shade.

Steepling snake in that contrary light
invades the dilate lens of genesis
to print your flaming image in birthspot
with characters no cockcrow can deface.

O maker of proud planet's negative,
obscure the scalding sun till no clocks move.
sylvia plath--

Southern Sunrise Color of lemon, mango, peach,
These storybook villas
Still dream behind
Shutters, thier balconies
Fine as hand-
Made lace, or a leaf-and-flower pen-sketch.

Tilting with the winds,
On arrowy stems,
Pineapple-barked,
A green crescent of palms
Sends up its forked
Firework of fronds.

A quartz-clear dawn
Inch by bright inch
Gilds all our Avenue,
And out of the blue drench
Of Angels' Bay
Rises the round red watermelon sun.
sylvia plath

The Surgeon at 2 A.M.
The white light is artificial, and hygienic as
The microbes cannot survive it.
They are departing in their transparent garments, turned aside
From the scalpels and the rubber hands.
The scalded sheet is a snowfield, frozen and peaceful
The body under it is in my hands.
As usual there is no face. A lump of Chinese white
With seven holes thumbed in. The soul is another light.
I have not seen it; it does not fly up.
Tonight it has receded like a ship's light.

It is a garden I have to do with --- tubers and fruit
Oozing their jammy substances,
A mat of roots. My assistants hook them back.
Stenches and colors assail me.
This is the lung-tree.
These orchids are splendid.
They spot and coil like
The heart is a red bell-bloom, in distress.
I am so small
In comparison to these organs!
I worm and hack in a purple wilderness.

The blood is a sunset. I admire it.
I am up to my elbows in it, red and squeaking.
Still is seeps me up, it is not exhausted.
So magical! A hot spring
I must seal off and let fill
The intricate, blue piping under this pale marble.
How I admire the Romans ---
Aqeducts, the Baths of Caracella, the eagle nose!
The body is a Roman thing.
It has shut its mouth on the stone pill of repose.

It is a statue the orderlies are wheeling off.
I have perfected it.
I am left with and arm or a leg,
A set of teeth, or stones
To rattle in a bottle and take home,
And tissues in slices--a pathological salami.
Tonight the parts are entombed in an icebox.
Tomorrow they will swim
In vinegar like saints' relics.
Tomorrow the patient will have a clean, pink plastic limb.

Over one bed in the ward, a small blue light
Announces a new soul. The bed is blue.
Tonight, for this person, blue is a beautiful color.
The angels of morphia have borne him up.
He floats an inch from the ceiling,
Smelling the dawn drafts.
I walk among sleepers in gauze sarcophagi.
The red night lights are flat moons. They are dull with blood.
I am the sun, in my white coat,
Grey faces, shuttered by drugs, follow me like flowers.
sylvia plath--

Totem The engine is killing the track, the track is silver,
It stretches into the distance. It will be eaten nevertheless.

Its running is useless.
At nightfall there is the beaty of drowned fields,

Dawn gilds the farmers like pigs,
Swaying slightly in their thick suits,

Fat haunches and blood on their minds.

There is no mercy in the glitter of cleavers,
The butcher's guillotine that whispers: 'How's this, how's this?'

In the bowl the hare is aborted,
Its baby head out of the way, embalmed in spice,

Flayed of fur and humanity.
Let us eat it like Plato's afterbirth,

Let us eat it like Christ.
These are the people that were important---

Their round eyes, their teeth, their grimaces
On a stick that rattles and clicks, a counterfeit snake.

Shall the hood of the cobra appall me---
The loneliness of its eye, the eye of the mountains

Dawn says, with its blood-flush.
There is no terminus, only suitcases

Out of which the same self unfolds like a suit
Bald and shiny, with pockets of wishes,

Notions and tickets, short circuits and folding mirrors.
I am mad, calls the spider, waving its many arms.

And in truth it is terrible,
Multiplied in the eyes of the flies.

They buzz like blue children
In nets of the infinite,

Roped in at the end by the one
Death with its many sticks.
sylvia plath--
sylvia plath

Wido Widow. The word consumes itself ---
Body, a sheet of newsprint on the fire
Levitating a numb minute in the updraft
Over the scalding, red topography
That will put her heart out like an only eye.

Widow. The dead syllable, with its shadow
Of an echo, exposes the panel in the wall
Behind which the secret passages lies--stale air,
Fusty remembrances, the coiled-spring stair
That opens at the top onto nothing at all....

Widow. The bitter spider sits
And sits in the center of her loveless spokes.
Death is the dress she wears, her hat and collar.
The moth-face of her husband, moonwhite and ill,
Circles her like a prey she'd love to kill

A second time, to have him near again ---
A paper image to lay against her heart
The way she laid his letters, till they grew warm
And seemed to give her warmth, like a live skin.
But it is she who is paper now, warmed by no one.

Widow: that great, vacant estate!
The voice of God is full of draftiness,
Promising simply the hard stars, the space
Of immortal blankness between stars
And no bodies, singing like arrows up to heaven.

Widow, the compassionate trees bend in,
The trees of loneliness, the trees of mourning.
They stand like shadows about the green landscape ---
Or even like black holes cut out of it.
A widow resembles them, a shadow-thing,

Hand folding hand, and nothing in between.
A bodiless soul could pass another soul
In this clear air and never notice it ---
One soul pass through the other, frail as smoke

That is the fear she has--the fear
His soul may beat and be beating at her dull sense
Like Blue Mary's angel, dovelike against a pane
Blinded to all but the grey, spiritless room
It looks in on, and must go on looking in on.
sylvia plath--

You're Clownlike, happiest on your hands,
Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled,
Gilled like a fish. A common-sense
Thumbs-down on the dodo's mode.
Wrapped up in yourself like a spool,
Trawling your dark as owls do.
Mute as a turnip from the Fourth
Of July to All Fool's Day,
O high-riser, my little loaf.

Vague as fog and looked for like mail.
Farther off than Australia.
Bent-backed Atlas, our travelled prawn.
Snug as a bud and at home
Like a sprat in a pickle jug.
A creel of eels, all ripples.
Jumpy as a Mexican bean.
Right, like a well-done sum.
A clean slate, with your own face on.

outlets ;

two SinceritY.
one COURAGE

aileen.
amanda.
audreyc.
audreyl.

alicea 2
alicea 1.

camilla.
clarissaong.
cheryl lim.

cheryl Loh
claire
charlyn

denyse.
drusilla.

ehui.
elizabeth.
emelyn.
elissa.

grace tang.

hui shan.

jacqueline
jade.
janice.
jazreen
joelyn.
johanna
jasmine

lingen.

lucinda.

laura.

pearlyn SCGS.
pearlyn sOc.
pan-e

rachel.
rhea.
rhea 2

stephanie

tamsin

yue yun

kexin 1
kexin 2
kexin 3
kexin 4
kexin 5
kexin 6
kexin 7
kexin 8

ZEAP's UNITE

spiderwebs

orisinal
diasy path
fiction press
sylvia plath's poems
sylvia plath's home page
apple iPOD mini
nike
billabong
roxy
SCGS
ORPYOUTHMINISTRY!!!

archives ;

typewriter goes bonk ;

layout by KEXIN ;

tag ;

Friday, September 30, 2005

guy's suck.i am never letting another one see daylight again.

jack RABBIT

4:24 AM*

Thursday, September 29, 2005

geog paper tomorrow.
E-HUI I AM GOING TO SUE YOU. hahahahaa.
bwahahaha.
PESR is here.
Pre Exam Stress REMOVAL.
da.

jack RABBIT

3:45 AM*

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

and so it begins. the studying, the late nights and the coffee
my day was horribly disappointing because i did like shit for my lit essay.anyway. i'm sick and tires of geog, and i think i got frozen in the computerlab. but anyway, me alicea, jane and pearlyn were fooling around, and doing our hanky panky so... it was rather fun.
anyway went home with e-hui today but sadly, i took 153. I got home and konked out on the bed, after 2 periods of geog, 2 periods of english/CME/free period, and 1 period of math, plus that thing which happened, and cause i slept late last night = conk out on the bed for 1 and half hours.

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

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ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

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ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

ANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRYANGRY

DOES THAT SAY ENOUGH?

jack RABBIT

5:15 AM*

Saturday, September 10, 2005

okay. i've been studying ~~THANK YOU GOD.~~ i've put up motivation signs all over the place to motivate myself, they say stuff like STUDY!! DON"T SLEEP and SHOPPING COMES LATER.
haha. serously, they do help, really, they help a WHOLE bunch.
~ ~ ~
okay. issue time

i feel horribly resenful at people. I don't know why, but sometimes i just do. and that isn't exactly the best thing. I get these fluctuating lousy mood swings. Sometimes i so happy with you, and then later i get thoroughly angry. And these feelings leave me pretty much drained out, which is why i don't like them to come. But sometimes its a nice feeling to be angry with someone. Its like letting off steam, letting go of al that extra energy, in your body into imagining tat person in your mind getting beat up. Yeah,i know its ounds sadistic, but it's an anger management tatic for me.

love. what exactly does it mean and have i felt it before? i know i;m still young to be going out and having relationships./ But sometimes i think it'll be nice to have someone to depend on, and someone who go out of his way to make you happy. And thats one of the most fufilling things. But the ultimate most fufilling thing to do is going out of your own way to make someone else feel happy. Not that you need to do that in a relationship, but maybe having some sturdy, sensitive rock to lean on helps.

i'm growing up, not only physically but mentally as well. I can feel it, sense it and i know it. Things that used to be so iimportant to me have lost that "importancy". thats why i'm saying that i've grown up. I'm more rebeliious now, and i don't know if thats a sign of growing up or not, or maybe its just a perod of teenage agnst that i'll get over in a few months or in a few years. But actually, i rather like the feeling

my discipline sucks. seriously. totally. horribly. I have such a low discipline level, and thats one of the reasons why its so difficult for me to get motivated. To study. But anyway a bad workman quarrels with his tools, and maybe i'm just blaming all thtas happening on something which i know can't argue with me. Well, sorry then discipline, i shan't use you as a convenient scape-goat.

Well, thats just about it, i'm tired and died out,[in more ways than you think] but i've still got to keep going. I keep thinking that the things i want to do will come later but in the end i end up getting distracted. Because of that i've resulted in resolutely digging my fingers into my ears when i start getting distracted and sing out the facts i'm learning. Surprisingly that really helps a whole lot.
yeah well. its pretty late. and don't tell me" LATE?? i THINK ITS PRETTY EARLY, I USUALLY SLEEP AT 3 A.M." well sorry, but me as a definente biological clock person, does not sleep at ungodly hours. Thankyou.
Yeah anyway, its getting late, and as you can obviously see i'm not in a good mood. I'm feeling restless all over, and uncomfortable, i want to go out and have a good 2 km run, but as you can see its about 11 in the night, and this isn't exactly the good time for 2 km runs or 2 km walks for that matter. I know its been a pretty long diary enter, but thanks for bearing with me, espcially if you read all my cuts.
~ ~ ~
OH YEAH. this is a happy part of the entry. I wacthed [parts of] two movies today. The glass house and school of rock. the glass house is really nice, and scary and seriously kept me on my toes. And shcool of rock just kept me laughing all the way. Which was good. although i wasted some precious time, that i could have spent studying for my EOYS.
tomorrow's church and i'm thoroughly looking forward to it. Looking forward to seeing lucinda and cheryl and talking to them, bout all my worries. Seriously, without you two, i wouldn't know what to do with myself.
<3 lucinda mummy
<3 cheryl boyfriend
~ ~ ~
One last thing: I don't think you understand exactly whats happening to me, or whats going on. I know you, and i know what you want, but i'm not sure, and unless you tell it out to me out loud, I'm not going to say or do anything . Mis-understanding is the last thing i want, and i'm sure its the last thing you want to happen too.Its been going on since last december, and i'm tired of waiting for you. So just tell me okay?Thanks.
~ ~ ~
All said and done, i'm tired and i'm going to trudge through one last chapter of science before i sleep.I'm leaving all holiday homework to tomorrow which isn't exactly the best thing, but i;m really too tired to do anything else. So music project, chinese newspaper cutting and math homework, i'm sorry but wait till tomorrow for me to attend to you okay? I've got too many things on my mind now adays, and today was one of the worse days and all. But tomorro'ws church will definetely rejuvenate me, it always days. Ending on a happy note, I'm going to the library tomorrow and i'm going to borrow books. Yea, thats one of the little joys of my downtrodden life. I know its really minor and all, but i would appreciate it if you wouldn't then tell me of your amazing adventures walkign down orchard road, or going to heeren to shop for lip gloss, or plaza singapura to catch a movie marathon. because if you do, i'll just be really angry and super pissed because it would be rubbing salt into the wound, and frankly in my state of mind and mood, i'll just throw the salt in your eyes.

I'm waiting for you, but i get tired too

jack RABBIT

8:25 AM*

Friday, September 09, 2005

its been a pretty slow day, because i haven't been doing very much, just muddling around the house, eating mooncakes, and reading a bit. Productivity, writing wise, has been excellent today. But i may be deleting my fiction press account because, it seems that the word copyright has no more meaning anymore.

PRE ANGER WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS REALLY ANGRY.
i'm horrified at your disgusting abilities, to cheat and to copy. It is mine. I wrote that stuff, i put thought into it, and i put love and care into it, to come up with that. You however, took it,and stole it, and with a little nifty editing, you came up with " something of your own". Well it was something of yu kexin's edited to be your own. Why, do you keep stealing my work, and telling other people its yours. I've already said, if you want my work, tell me, I'll send a copy to your e-mail. But you stole it, and even have the audacity to put it up on your own account. You've de-faced my work, maimed it even. I'm furious with you, because this isn't the first time, i warned you before and you said you were sorry, but a leopard never changes its spots does it. I'm detested, disgusted, horrified, terrified, furious, angry, mad, boiling acerbic, acid, astringent, belligerent, biting, bitter, caustic, censorious, churlish, crabby, cranky, cross, cutting, indignant, irascible,, ireful, mad, mordant, petulant, rancorous, spiteful, splenetic, testy, and trenchant, at your abject, awful, base, , beastly, cheap, contemptible, degrading, detestable, dirtbag, dirty, disgraceful, disreputable, gross, grungy, ignominious, loathsome, low, mean, no-good, pitiful, reprehensible, scurvy, shameful, sleazy, slimy, sordid, vile, worthless, wretched, yucky beaviour. GOT IT?
~ ~ ~

yeah. well i wrote 6 poems. WHOOPEE. i guess when im angry, i just really have to churn out all that extra energy which is being stored inside of me i guess. Like that time i was furious with the other softball team, and I did a home run, or that time in primary 6..
well nevermind, thats a very long story which i don't want to get into.
Well. english project is going to the drain we haven't done the advert, nor the prototype, and my buying of cloth was wasted. AARRGH.

aahh. The garderner's came just now, and i was looking at the way they pruned and cut, so i came up with this:

sweep the rose petals of the patio

its a poem, it really is. i like it too.
okay, i've not been doing anything this whole day, i'm pretty tired of studying already, but i need to catch up on my science and geog, so i'm going to do that at 4.00 until 7.00. then i'll have my dinner and then learn guitar with my brother.
~ ~ ~
i realise that as i've grown older, i'm begginning to love my brother more. When i was younger all i could think of was stupid, idiot, MAMA HE BEAT ME
but i realise that he's family, and guess since we've become older and more mature, we have more things to relate too, instead of just EEWWW SHE's A GIRL/ YUUCCKKK HE'S A BOY thing.
~ ~ ~
i was just looking at the apple site--http://www.apple.com.sg and there's alot of new stuff, i'm sorry but i may be just back dated, like the ipodnano, its super Uber thin, and it can carry 1000 songs or 2500 photos. prettycool, but i think it looks like the eclair i made in home econs with e-hui. HOHO. i'm going to buy the 6 iSOCKS. =D i can't wait for exams to end, because i can go shopping, for LOTS of things, belts, earrings, clothes, BOOKS. notebooks, lipgloss, heels, tech-ie stuff. I hope me dad gives me an ibook for christmas. FAT HOPE, because it costs $1700.
whhooossh.
~ ~ ~
okay i'm about done here, its been a VERY long post, one of the longest in this LJ, and i realise that in this short span of 3 days that i've had this LJ, i've posted 15 times already, prett long. I ALSO realise tha in an expanse of 5 days, i went through 3 LJ's haha.
http://www.livejournal.com/~re-vealed/
http://www.livejournal.com/~dewmanna/
and now this one. I guess change is a remedy to me.

sweep the rose petals of the patio

jack RABBIT

4:57 AM*

Thursday, September 08, 2005

good morning. happy town. i was up quite late in the night, trying to figure out algrebraic manipulation and i DID. wow. so happy.
*yawns*
~ ~ ~
PRE-ANGER WARNING. THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS ANGRY, FURIOUS CONTENT.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

i'm horrified at your disgusting abilities, to cheat and to copy. It is mine. I wrote that stuff, i put thought into it, and i put love and care into it, to come up with that. You however, took it,and stole it, and with a little nifty editing, you came up with " something of your own". Well it was something of yu kexin's edited to be your own. Why, do you keep stealing my work, and telling other people its yours. I've already said, if you want my work, tell me, I'll send a copy to your e-mail. But you stole it, and even have the audacity to put it up on your own account. You've de-faced my work, maimed it even. I'm furious with you, because this isn't the first time, i warned you before and you said you were sorry, but a leopard never changes its spots does it. I'm detested, disgusted, horrified, terrified, furious, angry, mad, boiling acerbic, acid, astringent, belligerent, biting, bitter, caustic, censorious, churlish, crabby, cranky, cross, cutting, indignant, irascible,, ireful, mad, mordant, petulant, rancorous, spiteful, splenetic, testy, and trenchant, at your abject, awful, base, , beastly, cheap, contemptible, degrading, detestable, dirtbag, dirty, disgraceful, disreputable, gross, grungy, ignominious, loathsome, low, mean, no-good, pitiful, reprehensible, scurvy, shameful, sleazy, slimy, sordid, vile, worthless, wretched, yucky beaviour. GOT IT?

jack RABBIT

7:17 PM*

okay. sorry for no posting here often, i've been posting TONS in
my livejournal
humdedum. well if you want to know whats going on with me, go to that link, cause i'm too busy right now to blog in two diaries. but rest assured after the exams, 2 weeks time, i'll be blogging and coming here regularly again. SO DON"T ABANDON ME!!!
=D

jack RABBIT

4:31 AM*

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

i'm worried. ahh. *chews lip* exams are coming and i am everything BUT prepared. which is bad. these are the things i need to do

15 chapters of math sums. and multiply that by 3 for the textbook, workbook, and assignments. each chapter has about 100 sums

15 chapters of science, including the lousy file which is about 6 cm thick

15 chapters of history, which needs to be accompanied by studycards which is now about 6 cm thick and is supposed to be about 15 cm

english practice for comprehension and summary

chinese

literature merchant of venice and animal farm

geography. a lousy 55 chapters,plus all the notes.

Reasons why i am dying:

i have done none of the above
i have done none of the above
i have done none of the above
i have done none of the above
i have done none of the above
i have done none of the above
i have not done english project
i have not done music project
i do not undersand algebra
i do not understand electrical calculations
my ballet is dying
i'm growing fat.
okay, time to put my nose to the grind and get it done.

=(

jack RABBIT

9:20 PM*

Monday, September 05, 2005

tuesday's have NEVER appaled to me. and today's, this day's, this lousy day's tuesday isn't helping either. NO EXCEPTIONS MADE.
well my biological clock went off AGAIN when i woke up BEFORE my alarm. how shocking. woke up at 6.30. and had a lazy shower.
hmm. spent the whole day reading a book by pam rhodes called " letting go". its pretty sad, but its's romantic.
i tell you
after the exams i 'm gonna read all the pam rhodes and pamela evans and barbara sterindstand and janet evanovich and virginia woolf and daphne du maurier and sidney sheldon and robert ludlum and jane green and chris manby. I can get my hands on.
Priorities are priorities though.
thats why i'm reading my book first, instead of getting wholly distracted WHILE studying and not taking anything in right??
sorry! i just need some reassurance OKAY??
humph.
music project now.
blah.
some weird thing in the basement toilet just leaked, water's streaming down the walls, and my mum, wearing a black rubbish bag is attempting to stop it.
how she's going to do it
i have NO idea.

jack RABBIT

8:40 PM*

Sunday, September 04, 2005

ahh. my biological clock was in a frenzy this morning. wondering why yu kexin got up later than usual, and not in a rush to get her shcool unifrom, brush her teeth, comb her hair, stuff bread in her mouth, hug kranjii[her dog], make her bed, get her bag, and basically hurry her ass up to the bus stop.
So in the end i ended up thinking it was sunday, and ended up lying blissfully in my bed thinking i was going to have such a wonderful time at church. When i realised it was freaking
monday.
So i ended up throwing a silent tantrum.
works and all.
gripped the blanket and thumped it a bit on my head and then threw the bolster on the bed where i stamped around a little, then i took the pillow and kind of screamed/whined/cried/laughed into it.
Where then i collapsed back on the bad, stared at my ceiling and told myself.
ITS MONDAY
so glumly went to take a shower, didn't do my hair, kinda piled it [literally] into a pony tail and did my to do list.
LOUSY.
did five chapters of geog and 1 chapter of history and 3 chapters of history study cards at one go.
which left my hand limp and practically falling off.
then i left my brain on my table and went to feed the dog.
he scratched me.
I'm not liable to cal him a b****. cause he's a MALE DOG.
seriously.
biting the hand that feeds you!
humph.
anyway, my mum and dad went to the gym, then my mum returned with breakfast. which i ate, and pickily left the seasame seeds behind.
so my mum started telling me bout starving kids in africa.
10 stupid lousy sesame seeds would have made SUCH a BIG difference.
drained from my morning, after picking up my brain and finishing the whole stupid chapter of arithmetic problems.
Lousy 140 sums on ratio and percentage.
well, i;m never going to be a saleswoman or an entrepenuer, so thats no use to me, and i'll EMPLOY and accountant.
dang.
i want to quit school
quit.quit.quitting.quitting.quitted.quitted.quat.
thats past perfect present tense of quite= quat.
ain't that nice.
ahh.
lunch.
i smell POW porridge.
brace myself.

jack RABBIT

9:26 PM*

ohwell. sunday's over. i realise i say this every sunday humdum.
anyway, my whole family got basically drenched fomr running to the car after lunch.
and kranjii aggravated the situation bu jumping on me.
10 times. =(

left to right: e-hui, ,e. huishan at MAcs
haha. that was when i went to e-hui's house after national day. i cut alicea off though, she took up TOO much of the picture.
and guess what we ate? this.

heap of frenchies

hahah. i realise that my bro's cam. needs a memory card reader, which he already brought to sweden. SAD. need to buy one. will be uploading more pics after exams.
espicially if i go inline sakting probably get lots of photos then
when i get the uploader of course.
i love photography, such an interesting art.
kiss me goodnight
every night
hold me tight
and tell me
I love you

jack RABBIT

12:25 AM*

Friday, September 02, 2005

today i walked home in a surprisingly good mood.
hahahaha.
well. there was home ec. and there was honours day.
the former rocked and the latter sucked.
home ec, was pretty fun. we made pizza which i greedily gobbled up during recess. and honours day was well...the usual boring ol stuff watching and clapping for people whom you didn't even knoe existed.
f-u-n.

when the stars shine i want to be by your side.
when the sun shines i want to hold your hand

well term 3 is over.
term4= exams is coming.

gladiating ants fight in the dark.
where moles live, where i want to
be

i'm still pissed[see previous 2 entries].
but not as much.
teehee

jack RABBIT

2:14 AM*

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

you know what? i'm not done[ see previos entry].
i have to add that you STOLE ME WRITING.
DON"T THINK I:VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT.
the injustive of it all.
i asked you to EDIT my compo NOT COPY IT??
what the hell were you thinking???
AND WE GOT SAME MARKS??
EXCUSE ME?
you know what i want to do.
I'm just so angry.
i want to slap you, a nice tight, finger printing one on your horrible purging face.
100 times.
BYEBYE.

jack RABBIT

4:26 AM*

YU KEXIN IS EFFING ANGRY.
I'm not like you, never was and never WILL BE.
YOU HEAR?
you've hurt me SO much already, and now i've got a new life, you can't do anything but try to make things worst for me.
Spreading rumours.
I'm sorry but i'm NOT the lousy-stealing-brat-snooping around people's desks-show off- prat-shit-manioulatar-thiefish person YOU ARE.
so why are you doing this?
why?
i;m really angry.
i'm enraged.
i;m freaking furious i;m almost boiling over.
WHY WON"T YOU SHUT THAT BIG FAT GORGE OF A MOUTH YOU HAVE?

jack RABBIT

4:25 AM*

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

well well. today i think, the class fo secondary 2 sincerity 2005 had a record number of science lessons.
started off with the first period, science DNA molecular system de-brief. then the second period which was science AGAIN. aga rose experiment with DNA samples, and micromillipipette. and THEN we had recess after that, it wasn't our usual recess but Mrs Cha wanted us to go do aga rose gel staining during the actual recess period, because 2co was using the life sciene lab at the time.
mhmm.
so we had recess at what? 9.30? and it was a one hour recess.
wheet.
because we joined break with recess. HOHO
yeah.
let me recount to you something funnry really
hilarious which happened during our 'recess'
well, i was telling e-hui that while i was doing CIP the wednesday before in the SC library, i managed to go over my loan quota, becase my loan quota was 4 but instead i went to borrow 6 books, for fun, just to see if i could. and i could! but honest little 'ol me returned the outstanding anyway.
so e-hui ever the adsventorous number 2 prompted on by the ever adventurous number ONE a.k.a. yu kexin of the world, decided to try to go over her loan quota.
so.. trying to act as normal as posiible we went over to the counter and said we wanted to borrow another book, or rather e-hui said it.
anyway, after that the parent volubteer put the bepper to the bar code, and the red flashing signal came out like LOAN QUOTA REACHED LOAN QUOTA REACHED!! it was super funnry, because AFTER that e-hui went oh i THINK i must have forgotten that book whihc i left at home.
anyway i was lauhing like mad at that because i have no idea why, it just tickled me.
you must know by now that i get tickled easily,
really easily.
hahaha.
yeah so i went to smother my giggles in the shelves behind "PLA"
hurrhurr.
anyway on the sciene lesson.
well we want to stain our aga rose gel and everything but the DNA movement wasn't too clear after all. hurrhurr.
anyway after that was chinese.
glad to announce
I IMPROVED.
HOHO
so happy okay!!!
then we had CME which was sadly taken up with english.
what a pooo.
haha.
anyway some how i think i was the first person to leave school, [ miss seah let us of early]... humhum.
well tomorrow teacher's day and i DON'T KNOW IF I'M GOING BACK TO FREAKING AI TONG.
seriously, the only reason why i will be going back would be to go disturb miss tans class, and see miss tan of course.
F-U-N.
my gosh.
haha.
other than that, i don't really like any of the 6A people, cause i wasn't one of the popular ones at that time.
MY BELT WAS VERY HIGH
and
MY HAIR VERY BIG.
hahahaha.
rachler yew and janice aren't going to go back either.
so what should i do?
humhum
anyway finished making the 2 hearts already.
hope miss seah and mrs jiang likes them
pearlyn didn't come to school today, yestersday she was coughing pretty abdly so i think its better if she stayed at home.
anyway, today was sec 4 prelims and o's orals.
i think.
they looked pretty stressed even though sophie was running across the traffic light quite erratically, much to the disgruntled as well as startled stars of the drivers.
humhum.
oh well. there is ONE thing i'm excited about.
ACES DAY.
no my school
SCGS
is not going to be doing some stupid synchronised flushing toilet dance.
my school
SCGS
is doing hip hop!!!!.
gosh.
totally excited, pairing up with e-hui. so FUN!!
we're doing to the usher music.
also can't wait to see e-hui dance for her i like to move it it, dance for the concert.
even though i watched it
MANY times already.
also can't wait to see drama's performance, sure to be entertaining just hope the mike's don't give way like last year, cause we're using the amphi and its going to be
LOUD.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
oh well, i am totally lost for presents to give to my teachers already.
KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE.
anyway, i've just decided what to give them.
NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!!
hahaha.
pretty much in a high mood.
don't know why, immediately after doing my quadratic graphs i got quite high.
yeah.
oh yeah i just realised i love SC.
really singapore chinese girl's school rocks.
our PSLE take in may not be the HIGHEST like RGS.
but our students and our girls are
WONDERFUL.
i love my school so glad i chose SC.
and the SC CHEER ROCKS.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.
won't ever forget the time we went for the badminton game. waving our school flag and cherring and laughing and screaming and crying.
Gosh.
hmmmm.
i'll be super sad to leave SC when i'm in sec 4
i'll cry.
i know i'll cry.
well
TOMORROW IS TEACHERS DAY!!!
hoho.
i realise i may be enjoying teacher's day more than the teacher's themselves.
i remember last year on t'chers day, the teachers themselves out up a performance.
CUTE.
hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
okay,
whatever, anyway these are the teachers i wanna say happy teachers day to.
MISS LIM SOH CHENG
MISS REGINA LEE[retired]
MISS LIM SIAO KIEN
MR JAMIN JEOW
MRS HONG [ retired]
MRS CO lEE.
MISS LINDA LEE ROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKS
NRS BOWNESS ROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKSROCKS
MISS SEAH SER HUI
MRS JIANG
MISS KU
MRS CHAN
MRS KHONG ROCKSROVKSROVKSTOKSROCKSROCKSD!!
haha
my father is home
boo
gottago
i;m naughty
bvyeeeee
SO EXCITED
HAHHAHAHAHA
really seriously really
gotwtago
reluctantly
and horribly typinggly leaving
BYEEEEE

jack RABBIT

4:06 AM*

Monday, August 29, 2005

i realise one year is very short. think about it. 52 weeks.
a miserable 52 mondays, tuesday, wednesdays, thursdays, fridays, saturdays and sundays.
miserable.
totally.
52.
lousy.
cramp-ed in weeks.
of work work
sleep eat and work.
sometimes singaporean teenage lives are seriously
off.
thanks to the PAP.
booooo.
after all teenagers have lives. and i sure want one.
anyway, i;m going totally rebillious and bohemian.
finshed my poetry portfolia and i;m starting on my artistic side. of well,
art of course.
acrylics are my specilaity. and then comes crayons and eeks. colour pencils.
horrible little breaky led thingys which fail to help.
today i'm going on my art quest.
sounds nice right?
basically it means i'm going to buy my materials for my art module.
and NO i am not taking art as an o'level examinable subject please--THANK YOU.
humdeedum.
compeltely devoted to the arts now, going to go for dance later.
so great we're doing turns.
sometimes i wish my ballet teacher would just chuck it like she did last year and do jazz with us.
of coursed, we ended up cras coursing the syllabus and completely failing to do any triple turns.
ofcourse, under intense shouting and erm.. sweating, we all did so, and came bak with high honours.
teehee.
this time its different though, can't mess around, if i fail or not do well for my intermediate advance exams, i'm going to mess it up.
completely.
i'm not going to be able to do teacher's course.
but maybe i won't.
cause [did i tell you?] after finishing my dance ballet course, i'm going to learn salsa.
YAY!
double yay.
YAY! YAY!
hurrrrhurrr.
time to go.
sorry if i bored you with ballet talk.
i am very offended if you said "you SHOULD be"
but who reads this anyway??
my secret admirer
HARHAR.

jack RABBIT

3:31 AM*

Sunday, August 28, 2005

seriously the POW dinner[ see previous entry] was
not really that POW'ish after all .
hmmm.
tomorrow is monday. and no i'm not iimplying that you're a fat hippo who can't count the days of the week.i'm reminding myself.
and NO i am not a fat hippo who can't count the days of the week either.
i'm not preparing for EOY's either end of years forthose of you who ARE fat hippos. spent the whole weekend watching TV. lots of movies on star movies, wtaches so close--the karen mk, zhang zi yi one, was SO nice, i tell you, nearly made me cry.
boo boo.
watched along came polly, 50 first days, what i call chick romance.
and then pirates of the carribean: the black pearl.
did i say jhonny depp was sexy?? he has that wonderful low latin-ish voice. [giggles insanely]. anway, i must commend him for his performance in charlie and the chocolate factory.
but seriously
he is
NOT
sexy there just kinda eccentric i guess.
humdedum.
i am greatly amused by how other people worship the ground she blogs on.
lets take xia xue for example.
i don't understand her popularity, why people agree with everything she says, and actually are wiling to pay for her long lost digi cam.
she even has an avatar to donate money to her.
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
that girl needs some whipping to get back into reality.
not that i'll do the whipping.
humdeedum.
but maybe some of her posts are interesting
I don't know
never been there
hurrhurr.
anwyay i'm contemplating going for e-hui's 2105 planet and see her clumsily but surely kuru kuru across kallang theatre's stage. and possibly do loud wholf whistles to attract her attention so she will fall.
about 34 more days to exams.
I fully declare revision is not under way and will NOT be under way either. hummhumm
that is SO untrue.
bumdedum.

jack RABBIT

3:53 AM*

oh well. sunday is away and GONE. well it seems t me i need some rejuvenation. been stuck in the stuffy study room for 2 hours trying to figure out the lousy stupid attack cd and trying to figure out how to work the silly speakers. AIYAIYAI. finnaly took me like HOW long to figure them out. and anyway in the end it was my brother who figured it out.
hurrhurr. i'm not really computer savvy. ~~even though i DID make this blog skin myself~~
well., my whole family sems to have gotten the strike of food poisoning. sad.
my mum is now calling for me to have dinner.
white porridge for the food poisoned people.
we are eating like POW's.
and I'M not even food poisoned.
i must suffer the consequences of carless eating of oysters.

jack RABBIT

2:46 AM*

Saturday, August 27, 2005

arrggh. its hell trying to study in this horrible faux pas.
hmmm.. i want to be an actor. and re-live the scenes of my life, just that now, it'll all be pretend, and i'll be in the safe arms of fantasy as they recieve me. when all i want to do is to fall back into streams of rough choppy waters.
i need to talk about reality to face up to it. i'm not living in a dream anyway.

jack RABBIT

5:23 AM*

Friday, August 26, 2005

i've created a new language, its my own. To stall away from the earth from you from harsh reality. and its rather obvious, that i'm NOT going to share it with you.
fat luck.
did i say i wanted to give up blogging? well i;m picking it up again. i NEED an opening.
and i need to sleep.

jack RABBIT

11:32 PM*

Sunday, August 21, 2005

ahh. my blog is becoming so stagnant. nobody comes here anymore. what a sad case. so dead. oh well. i guess i can spout nonsense then.
later.
forever the procrastianator.
anwyay, went to old folks home with hui and syl, quite fun, but felt really bad for the old folks.
mm.
why am i blogging this if nobody is going to read this but me?
i'm getting isolated from the real world.
time for a change.

jack RABBIT

6:02 AM*

Sunday, August 14, 2005

ahh. its finally over. so tired.
It was all i ever wanted. just something innocent. just something there. you were the one who wrecked it

cumple and squash
stap and fill
imagine

the blood running down
covering your vision
your air
your life

killing you
killing your
self
just so tired. whats happening. These insistent modd swings, and fright attacks, or a breaking down of nerves. Depresssion isn't it? Thats what its called. Sliding down into break down. Thats what i am

jack RABBIT

9:21 PM*

Saturday, August 13, 2005

hieeee. ahh.just came back from open house. and it was SO much fun. my gosh. when i reached school i was kinda lethargic and sleepy. And then i saw all the enthy juniors outting on their make up and decided to be crazy and go for it too!.
Anyway.. I LOVE DRAMA. ROCKS. after the drama performance, went for lunch break, then went to find pearlyn in the MMC room. HAHA. my totoise moved SO fast. hoho
then after that i went to disturb e-hui, at the kitchen, Aaha. her salad was nice anyway. After that went to help out in drama room and then came back. i think SC really does rock. Everybody was giving out phamplets and flags and food and water and laughing like mad. saying good morning to everybody really super loudly, and pretty much scaring all the girls, by telling them to PLEASE COME TO SC! and all. haha.
well open house is over, and i'm pretty much beat, going out for dinner tonight, can't believe that my brother is leaving alreay this tuesday for sweden. WELL! tomorrow i'm going to have to study really hard, for tuesday's test. Not sure if there's a chinese test or not. ohwell.
its what i know i've been feeling all this time, i couldn't put my finger on it. it was this resentment i couldn't let go off. This rag of cloth, i had to hang on to. The rag which polished my hatred to a shining knob of onx. Which hs shattered to thousands of shards and pieces to the unkown areas of my heart. Which have cut deep. and i have learnt my lesson, to never hold on, but let go, and dream and hope for the future.
'o5

jack RABBIT

3:57 PM*

Friday, August 12, 2005

ahhh, today is open house, have to leave in 9 minutes time.
bahh.
don't feel like going at all!

jack RABBIT

4:20 PM*

i realise what my body looks like.
fat like a pig.
so, i'm going to tone up. Came up with a body dynamic programme. It consists of 3 parts. First, running, basically a fast jog, 1.4km.
Second, cycling, really fast, uphill. [ so of course i get the pleasures of going downhill don't i?] 11 km.
Last, cool down, a walk. About 1km.
Then of course, crash diet, no more indulging in chocolates, or cornettos. No more midnight energy bars or milos. Water and fruits all the way.
When the school weights room is open during recess probably in two weeks time, going to train up my tighs, my calfs, my triceps, biceps, apecs, pecs, hamsstring and balhbalh. Aiming for 30 points napfa next year. Time to train for standing broad jump. This year was losy only 26 points. Booooo.
Okay.

jack RABBIT

1:12 AM*

Thursday, August 11, 2005

ahh. thursday is slipping away oh-so gently. humph dee dum.
i was okay going to school but after that i kinda slipped in and out loethargically from lessons.
I couldn't take in whatever the teacher's were teaching.
espicicially for the first period. after that i got quite hyper, much to alicea's distate, and during math i kinda bonked and binked off eveything that had an x or y in it. ahhhh.
what a life i lead, how boring it is. Finals are coming soon and i am none but prepared. Anyway.. at least history project is nearly done already.
But woe and behold, what have we here? Another english assignment with the horrible wprd prototype in it. damn
when is the flow of projects ever going to stop.
hmmm.
whatever, i need to study now..
i don't want to fail you know? And for all those who are probably dying to rub my fac in it of the Horrible lousy lit score i got. then fine..
i only got 12 and a half over 15 okay.
gloat.
its the suckiest marks i ever got. can't beleieve how much my lit is dropping. have to do well for the next lit test essay .
bleargh.

jack RABBIT

5:22 PM*

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

how..nice
National day is over, and yet today is a holiday as well. I guess i'll be missing this film of plastic that seems to have permanently syuck itself on me. Thus producing this lethargic aura around my body. I know it'll go away soon. Because my mind will tell the body to snap out of it and stop living in a dream.
Reality is life.
Too bad i don't want it.

jack RABBIT

6:54 PM*

Monday, August 08, 2005

BOOOO! :D
YU KEXIN DID U MISS ME?
heehee. i know you love me too! right?!
la la la la.
i miss you!
(you should know that by now)
la la la.
AND you better thank me for helping you with the music script.
YAY.
im so nice right. lols.
k la i shall stop typing crap now.
BYE :D i love you i love you i love you.
<3<3<3

YOUR BOYFRIEND :D

jack RABBIT

8:58 PM*

Sunday, August 07, 2005

helllooo!! everybody. i'm at e-hui's house now.
For your information, i spent one FANTASTIC hour waiting for the FANTASTIC guest of hounor to arrive so FANTASTICALLY late, so that i could watch the FANTASTIC flag raising and listen to the FANTASTIC minister's adress as well as the FANTASTIC principal's adress. what a FANTASTIC morning.
my foot.
they can go to hell lor. national day celebrations are a complete waste of my TIME. which is extremely precious by the way.
Anyway.. i would just like to announce to EVERYBODY! that ALICEA TAN WEI WEI IS A TRAITOR!!!
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
=]
national day
sucks.

jack RABBIT

10:51 PM*

hello again. oh well. sunday's OVER isn't that SO sad....
i always did love sundays.
anway, i felt like doing shout outs to a few peopl so here they are
Hui Shan: For being my ABOSOLUTE friend for SO long hope you cheer up.. and feel better as well as make the right decision. loves
E-hui: I LOVE YOU DARLING! and because of you i love derrick tooo!! HOHO
Pearlyn: MY fellow person who needs to go for ANGER MANAGEMENT!!
alciea: for being such a GREAT partner, only sometimes HAHA
lucinda: for being my best friend in times of need, and sharing all your secrets with me
cheryl: for consoling me on MSN when i was crying and feeling totally helpless
pearlyn from church: helping me in the creation of this LJ and being such a GREAT =D team leader
I love all and i'm tired, so i can't do THAT many shoutouts.
yawns..
godnight

jack RABBIT

5:57 AM*

Saturday, August 06, 2005

my dream house. well its not really conisdered a house. My dream house would be a studio apartment. Located near an MRT station. yes. practical, not so dreamy after all. But inside it would be my haven. Studio apartments are basically one large room, but with walls to cordone them apart. My room would be green, of course, but the whoole house would be painted in pastel colors. I would have a LARGE fridge, double doors, freezer drawer and everything. One tv, posssibly in the living room. My room would cosist of the norm like cupboards, and a table but all would have to be made out of pine wood. One side of my room, would be completely made out of cork, so i could use it as a cork board and pin lots of stuff on it. The next empty side would be a full lenght mirror. To preen myself, or let me wonder who i am. The sotore room, would be done up to my reading corner. One shelf, one table, stolls, bean bags, radios, food lader, and of course lots of pens and books. My dream house is my haven. What i don't really have now. And what i would love to have if i stay single.
What is dreaming if you don't carry it out. I want to carry it out. For i have dreams. And i want to be a literature professor, and impart to people my love for the subject and everything incorporated into it. Surely, i won't go against my own natural instinct and become a math teacher, for evn know those prospects seem black.
Dreaing is such a wonderful thing to do, but the reality of short term goals like just passing my finals, this year, is black.
And therefore, instead of my dream house near an MRT station, i may be living in a cheesy mouldy old apartment, where i have to pay rent every month.
But thats quite okay.. for i have my writing to accompany me wherever i go. wherever i am.
Well, since we're done with that on to another subject. I love looking forward to things, and this weekend i've basically spent it reading and writing no, not wasting my time away, but readning and writing. I;ve been looking forward to national day holidays for sometime and so i hope i'll be able to use them fruitfully in some way or another. When i was younger, i didn't use to look forwrad to holidays because i would not know what to do with myself. After all i had all the time in the world, no tests or homework or projects or problems. and so i was jealous that my brothers had things to do. Now, all i want to do is sleep read and write. And even sometimes i can't make time for that, without neglecting God. So, as time goes by, and i grow even older, i expect, that time will fly by even faster for me, but i know that one day it'll slow down. Or at least i hope that one day it'll slow down...
Next thing up.. church.
Today i had an edifying church experience. I know that the past few wekks i;ve been backsliding, since o got over church campo aftermath blues. And not being able to go for 5th sunday outing and all, kinda out me down. But today, it was different i could feel it. For today, we sang the most beautiful songs in the whole history of youth sunday services. The songs really touched me. I could feel Cod's presence and that moved me more to want to let him touch my heart and let myself go to him, so that i may trust in him, no matter what the circumstances are, and no matter when where why or how, i'll know that he is there and that he will give me assurance ofr nothing else and no-one else could be that great as HIM. Amos's sermon was great as well. [ he must be every happy to hear thay huh?] anyway.. it was about trrsu and security which completely tied in about thye doubts i was feeling and all. Anyway, though of going for "love in the city", the sermon bout relationships and what God wants us to do and all. So i thought of going. Anyway already missed foP. [festival of praise] apparently accordsing to lucinda [mama] and cheryl [boyfriend] it was damn fun. no, not really in their exact words, but i guess i can infer from there...anyway, after church amos spilled ta on himself and serene. poor thing is scared of a fake lizard. You know, our youth's young aduolts. aren't really adults at all. they're really.... Young.. haha.
anway...
i just wanted to say that the worst thing anybody could ever do to me, was to call me bad names, like " bitch" and so on. Thats because i trust6 wor the most, and they've been my comfort and my security. To use these beautiful things agansit me, is really back stabbing me. So i just hope that nobody will do that to me yeah? I won't do it to you either okay?? haha. as a christian as well, i hope i won't blow up anymore.
Cause i have been losing my temper quite frequently.so pary for me fellow sOc'ians.
soc stands for seekers of christ by the way.
Next thing, tomorrow.. well i have no idea whats going to happen tomorrow. All i know is we are going to celebrate alicea's and maybe hui shnas' birthdya in advance, followed by doing geog project together, and then , Alciea nd e-hui doing history project together, while me and Hui Shah do chinese project together.
Anyway.. about 53 more days to finals.. getting to a tight period here.
bleargh.
its time to get
down
to it and study my guts out. anyway, its probably no surprise that i;m going to take ful lit. =)
and, next year lit trip is to UK!!!!!! WHOOpieee...
there's rome trip too.. don't know whether i shoudl go. But nevermind, i still have to write the essay.
I realsie this post is very long, and prety disjointed as well, but thanks fir bearing with me, and reading through all that. SOmetimes i just need to get all the stuff out, and re-order things in my mins. Blogging helps and it helps to improve my typing skills as well. anyway..i'll probably be incorporating a password soon, just like i have incorporated anon-right click for
originality is a virtue dears.
yes.. anyway the pass word will probably be about either rabbits, or green or soap or jack. will inform you soon.
I have to keep out nosy little girls.
bye.
<3

jack RABBIT

10:08 PM*

Friday, August 05, 2005

i was stupid just to think, that i could know all and intepret eveything in my heart and my mind.
I was stupid just to think that i could understand myself.
For am i not just an empty shell where nothing happens and everything runs by me.
Its a blurr i live in. For i watch the world through my teary ears, and bite those drops of white blood back, because i can't bear to watch myself cry.
I can't go on as a mask, with no vitality or life inside it.
No reasoh, no purpose.
For my life is a plain masquerade. And all i see in front of me, is you with your sparkled mask of refinery, and lying blattenly so much, through your teeth. That it as if sparkled shards of glass and crystal are falling out and crinkling to the ground.
Such that i step on it, and bleed. And just as you take your mask away, I am all but consicous to see that glimmering face of detestation.
For all i see are refracted bits of light, and glinting teeth. And all i hear is that shuffling feet and cackling through the fire, through the night sky, through the waterless ocean. Into my brain where it richochets of like a sqash ball in heaven. Bouncing of the cotton like matter.
For i cannot remember anything, and all is at a loss to what i am doing, i am forgotten.
Like a broken doll, carelessly thrown into the attic, of nothing but loneliness, and hard cole sloitare.
Where i play myself, in my head re-winding and fastforwarding so fastm i can't even see a thing.
For io can't remeber, and i can't see.
I can't see you.

jack RABBIT

8:51 PM*

isn't it all right already? whats wrong with you. that you just can't accept me for who i am.
for i can't change.
not for you nor for anyone else.

So just give it up. and go away.
don't come back.
forever

jack RABBIT

5:07 PM*

ooo. dumbledore is not dead. go to this site to see why

jack RABBIT

4:37 AM*

why did you have to say that?
why?

jack RABBIT

2:10 AM*

Thursday, August 04, 2005

yo

jack RABBIT

11:31 PM*

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